| Test Your Funny Bone |
Millions of people suffer from HDS. Take this test to find out if you're one of them.
This quiz will help you assess the health of your funny bone. Simply answer TRUE or FALSE to each question.
| TRUE | FALSE | ||
| 1. | You wake up each morning complaining -- too little sleep, too many aches and pains, another crummy day. | ||
| 2. | You drag yourself to the closet and find that your basic black wardrobe looks too bright. | ||
| 3. | You read the obituary page over breakfast and think, "Those lucky ducks." | ||
| 4. | Everybody on the road is a lousy driver except for you. | ||
| 5. | Everyone ahead of you in the express line at the supermarket is conspiring to slow up your progress. | ||
| 6. | Do you light up a whole room just by leaving it? | ||
| 7. | When playing cards, golf or tennis your blood boils when you don't beat the pants off your opponents. | ||
| 8. | It makes you feel better to regale family and friends with detailed accounts of your daily misfortunes. | ||
| 9. | Your favorite topics of dinner conversation are your backache, sore feet, food allergies and cholesterol readings. | ||
| 10. | If somebody teases you or makes a joke at your expense you react angrily and hold a grudge forever. | ||
| 11. | Daily chores -- banking, laundry, errands, etc. -- are an endless source of complaint. | ||
| 12. | You can't help ranting and raving about how society is deteriorating and how the country is going to hell in a handcart. | ||
| 13. | You find that talk radio and TV news are spiritually uplifting. | ||
| 14. | You feel overworked, underpaid and under-appreciated. | ||
| 15. | It is your duty to criticize friends, co-workers and family members for their own good. | ||
| 16. | You think jokes are silly, offensive and a foolish waste of time. | ||
| 17. | When somebody beats you to a parking spot, you secretly wish you had a bazooka on board. | ||
| 18. | When someone tells you a joke you either groan or hasten to point out that it's politically incorrect or not funny. | ||
| 19. | Cheerful people are annoying and you suspect they're faking it -- nobody is that happy. | ||
| 20. | Anybody who does not share your political or religious beliefs is an uninformed, wrong-headed ignoramus. |
RATE YOURSELF:
| 0-3 | TRUE | -- | You do not have a Humor Deficiency Syndrome. In fact, your sense of humor is your greatest asset. |
| 4-9 | TRUE | -- | You are showing the first signs of Humor Deficiency Syndrome. Make sure to get at least 15 good laughs a day. |
| 10-20 | TRUE | -- | An advanced case of HDS. A funny bone transplant is your only hope. On the bright side, you will never die laughing. |
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Check out Larry's latest books: When You're Up to Your Eyeballs in Alligators Great Comedians Talk About Comedy |
Copyright © 2004 by Larry Wilde
Excerpted from When You're Up To Your Eyeballs In Alligators -- Jester Press
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